The Sedona-method®: Four questions that make a change!

Fosedona-method, beating fearsr some time now I have been trying out a new method for myself and with my clients for making change possible, the SEDONA-Method®. I would like to share it with you.

The method consists of four questions and I got it from the book “The Sedona Method®“ by Hale Dwoskin who originally got it from his teacher, Lester Levenson.

Here are the four simple questions:

1. Can you accept this emotion at this very moment?

2. Can you let go of this emotion – just for this moment?

3. Would you let this emotion go?

4. When?

Try it out yourself!

If you’re in the middle of being angry about something o rare worried or are compulsively pondering over something – close your eyes,– turn to your insides and think about the specific thing, person or situation that is frustrating you Feel what you are feeling right now.

1. Can you accept this emotion at this very moment?

You cannot win against your own feelings. To suppress them, to fight them or to talk yourself out of them. All that will not work, usually the unpleasant emotion will get stronger.

The interesting thing about this question is that it makes no difference what you answer. What is important though is that you’re honest about it – to yourself. And that you answer spontaneously, so don’t take the time to search for the right answer.

Maybe the feeling is so strong that you really don’t have any other choice than to accept it. Or it’s physical pain and you know you have to bear it. But: you are also allowed to refuse to accept your emotions. It’s not a “must”.

2. And could you let this emotion go – just for this moment?

This is also a clever question. You’re not asked to let go of this feeling. The question is much rather targeted at your freedom of choice that you have at that moment but usually don’t experience it like that.

Again it does not matter what you answer. It just has to be spontaneous without you having put any deeper thought into it.

What is essential is that you really sense the feeling that comes up. We often settle for symbolic meaning or constructs. „I am stressed.“ „I am angry.“ But it’s easier, if we perceive the fitting physical sensation that goes along with it. Heat in your face, tightness in the throat, pressure on the shoulders. Why? Because it’s more feasible to let go of these physical sensations than the diffuse terms like stress, anger or fear.

You can always let go. You’re in a fight with your partner. The phone rings. You talk to the caller in a normal voice. You’ve let go of the anger for that moment only to pick up on it again once the call has been terminated and you continue to quarrel.

Letting go doesn’t happen by order. It also doesn’t happen even when it’s us who demand it of ourselves: “Just let it go!“ That’s why the indirect way is so helpful. What lies in the cautious indication that there is another way „Could you let go?“ clears the path to the ability each and every one of us has within.

3. Would you let go of this emotion?

Again, answer spontaneously and honestly.

This question is aimed at what you want. Not at what you are able to do. Because often we experience agonizing feelings and think: „I want to get rid o fit but I can’t.”

And then the fourth question follows.

4. When? When would you let it go?

Change doesn’t happen by pulling the wool over your eyes. Be honest to yourself and answer spontaneously to this question – and again it doesn’t really matter what your answer is: ”Right now! Maybe tomorrow! Never!!!“

The question gets you in the here and now.
It gives you an idea that change is possible. You can do things differently. You can let things go. When would you like to let go?

If your answer is “the day after tomorrow“ or “when I find the time“ then you’ve already agreed to wanting to let go – and that you actually can.

If you’ve gone through the process of these four questions now, you may already feel a small change. But the best thing to do is to repeatedly ask yourself these four questions.

The Sedona Method® is not limited to emotions. You can also let go of displeasing thoughts, constraining convictions or pressuring fantasies. I assume the method is also effective, because thoughts of course, attitudes or fantasies are tied to emotions.

Why does this method work although it almost seems to be too easy? I believe that it allows accessing something which seems hard to connect with when you have a problem.

  • It brings you into contact with yourself.
    What’s typical for problematic situations is that you’re not centered, but tangled up in musings or horror scenarios. Your emotional state may also not be clear.
  • It helps you to create a distance to the problem or the emotion. Astonishingly we’re good at helping our partners or friends with their problems. We take the time to listen, ask questions, and get an idea of the big picture. The only reason why this is possible is, because it’s not our problem. Because we are far enough away from it and it’s easier to see from that distance. These four questions can have the same effect.
  • They create inner space.
    When we have a problem, we tend to hear a strict voice within us telling us how it’s all our own entire fault. And that we easily could have avoided it, had we acted differently.

And what we desperately need to do to not make it worse. This inner pressure that builds up is additionally annoying. But most of all: it almost never motivates us to take action. Instead we search for excuses why everything is just the way it’s supposed to be and why we can’t act otherwise right now. These questions don’t produce any pressure. They inquire. They point to a possible direction but leave us with a maximum of liberty, if or when we want to head in that direction.

  • It leads us to the present moment. All methods for relaxation and meditation work that way. This booklet shall help you to eliminate troubles and frustration while you’re in the middle of your life with both feet on the ground.

Here the four questions again:

1. Can you accept this emotion at this very moment?

2. Can you let go of this emotion – just for this moment?

3. Would you let this emotion go?

4. When?

Here’s the book …The Sedona Method®: How to Get Rid of Your
Emotional Baggage and Live the Life You Want. Hale Dwoskin

article 32 tantalization you to itself also with wrong feelings of guilt? What problem might YOU try out the Sedona Method® with?

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